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, by Irvin D. Yalom Chris Carlson
Download Ebook , by Irvin D. Yalom Chris Carlson
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Product details
File Size: 516 KB
Print Length: 314 pages
Publisher: Basic Books; 1 edition (June 5, 2012)
Publication Date: June 5, 2012
Sold by: Hachette Book Group
Language: English
ASIN: B007X4CRGG
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I first read Love's Executioner a few years ago and was so taken with it, I've recommended it dozens of times. Recently, I listened to the audio version Love's Executioner: & Other Tales of Psychotherapy, which was great (it also includes an interesting interview with Irvin Yalom) and I heard some things I hadn't picked up when reading it. In fact, I realized this work has such depth, it is worth revisiting again and again. What makes it so good? It contains the wisdom of a master existential therapist, who is also a gifted storyteller (Love's Executioner is non-fiction, based on real case histories, but it reads like fine fiction).And what is existential psychotherapy? It begins with the idea that our fundamental psychological dis-ease results from difficulties baked into human existence, such as our fear of death and our ultimate aloneness. Or as Yalom writes in Love's Executioner prologue: There are "four givens that are particularly relevant to psychotherapy: the inevitability of death for each of us and for those we love, the freedom to make our lives as we will, our ultimate aloneness, and, finally, the absence of any obvious meaning or sense to life. However grim these givens may seem, they contain the seeds of wisdom and redemption. I hope to demonstrate, in these ten tales of psychotherapy, that it is possible to confront the truths of existence and harness their power in the service of personal change and growth." *That paragraph captures the core blueprint of the book, but if you stopped there you'd be missing out. Like all great artists, Yalom brings those essential issues to life so you feel them in your bones. He stops our breath through the stories, intimate details, and insights into the lives of some of his extraordinary patients (or sometimes "ordinary"ish, but made extraordinary in Yalom's capable hands). The tender truth often shimmers in Love's Executioner. We see the art of psychotherapy, and thus living, practiced by a master, both as a writer and a guide to how to midwife psychological wisdom.Other reviewers here have pointed out that Love's Executioner is must reading for therapists and those undergoing psychotherapy. This is true, and Yalom, is understandably a rock star among therapist, not just for his skillful prose (he is also an accomplished novelist), but his textbooks that have been read by at least two generations of therapists. But it would be a shame if this masterwork--and I do believe it's fair to call Love's Executioner his master work--weren't read by everyone. For it has something for everyone: whether you like fiction or non-fiction. Lovers of fiction get the storytelling and intimacy of a great novel. Readers of non-fiction know these are stories of real patients and get actionable take-aways. As noted, I plan to reread or relisten to this book periodically, knowing I'll pick up something new each time. Books don't get much better than this.* In Love's Executioner, Yalom notes that he doesn't belong to a psychological school of thought. Since I see existential psychological dilemmas as true for everyone, regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs, I tend to agree with him. That said, I do believe this is still an outlook, and that there will be others with a different outlook that will consider existential therapy a school of thought. -I originally got a promotional/review copy of the audiobook, but think it is so good, I got extra copies and have given copies to friends and coworkers.
I agree with all the positive reviews, but need to say this about the story of Betty or "Fat Lady". In the Afterword of the latest edition, Dr. Yalom defends himself and explains that he was truly honest about his counter-transference and learned a great deal from Betty. Here I would say that Dr. Yalom needs to go even further in his self-examination. My feeling is that he learned to relate to Betty as a human being ONLY because she kept losing weight, and by the end she was almost at 150 pounds - which is not obese even if she is a shorter woman. If Dr. Yalom were honest with himself, he would have to consider the possibility that he, in fact, did not learn to see fat women as human beings. And, most importantly, that he taught Betty that the only way to get a man to love her is for her to be a certain weight. She might end up in a life-time struggle with eating disorders and poor body image that Dr. Yalom, not only did not resolve, but made worse.
A friend posted a praise of Yalom's last book on facebook. Low and behold, I checked him out on amazon and decided to read Love's Executioner first: best decision ever. The book is so "honestly and openly" written that I believe it would be a good mandatory reading material for all new students in the field. The stories are fascinating, but his approach to psychotherapy and his "unconventional" human approach to each patient are what gets you. Thank you sir. And I sure loved the iast sentence of your epilogue the best. You really made me laugh. Thank you.
Fascinating stories of therapeutic relationships. Yalom writes with refreshing honesty, revealing his own struggles with preconceptions. He provides hope for elders who are considering therapy. If you are obese, disregard the negative reviews centered on Yalom’s prejudices. Find out for yourself and don’t miss this treasure.“If we stare too hard into the past, it’s easy to be overcome with regret. But now the important thing is to turn towards the future. We’ve got to think about change. What must not occur is that five years from now you look back with regret over the way you’ve lived these coming five years.â€
Yalom’s clearly rooted in a psychoanalytical approach, but adjusted his modalities to best fit the client. Often his inner thoughts were shocking and amusingly relatable which was surprising and comforting. He often took the time to explain his techniques and thought process which I found helpful as a practicing licensed therapist. Some of the chapters were objectively offensive (client that had slept with therapist) and some subjectively offensive (he disclosed a dislike for obese women), but his growth his admirable and his epilogue describes his regrets and reflects on how times have changed. It’s a quick read and I think one worthy of anyone interested in pathological analysis. He also shared some powerful metaphors.
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